Stalking

Yes that person behind you did follow you for far longer than any person would, yes he is sitting directly behind you pretending to drink a cup of tea that went cold far more than an hour ago and finally yes he will probably continue to drink said tea until you get up and walk home, where as you walk up to your door you will notice he has indeed climbed a tree like an obscure squirrel with a perfect view of your door and bedroom window.

If I have just recited a typical day for you then you should probably be very scared and should phone the police, that is not typical stalking, that is a mental patient who believes he is a squirrel and believes that you are his mate and will no doubt try to have rampant sex with your leg like a Jack Russell on heat.

If however your day went more like a guy followed you from the local shop to your house a hundred yards apart this could perhaps be stalking. Now this is the problem with identifying a stalker. Generally you will, chances are, encounter someone who does indeed follow the same route as you home, will take the same turning throughout the day as you do, this is normal, this is called using the pavement.

Stalkers aren’t usually too noticeable, otherwise they would be caught very quickly, just like burglars don’t wear black and white pinstripe clothing as they would be watched as soon as they left the house.

Some stalkers may even choose not to leave their house and may just sit at the windows ‘watching the birds’, by the birds they actually mean Mrs Morris across the road as she does her aerobics whilst meticulously noting every detail of her day at home, sort of like a detective just with more masturbation and a general aura of creepiness.

Though I say stalkers are normally anonymous and can blend in quite well there will always be those who stand out, be they just amateurs or be they fame seekers. Many notable stalkers can be found, some have a reasoning, some are just plain weird.

http://www.popcrunch.com/the-15-nuttiest-celebrity-stalkers-of-all-time/

In any case stalking isn’t funny, unless they are in a clown suit, then they are mildly amusing, creepy and most importantly easy to spot.

Think your being stalked check the link below and see if any of the modus operandi fit with your, perhaps, stalker. I do find it funny though, not the stalking, that they feel they have a chance of spotting a stalker.

http://www.stalkingbehavior.com/